Asking For What You Need

JUST FOR TODAY:  Assertively ask for what you need, and you won't need excess food.

Imagine that you're cooking dinner for yourself and your spouse (or roommate or friend), and you're very busy with all of the preparation.  You're also aware of other tasks around the house that need to be tended to, and that you'd really like some help with.  As you're working in the kitchen, and thinking about all the other work that needs to be done, your spouse walks through the kitchen to see how you're doing with the cooking, and then goes into the living room and starts watching television.  You feel your anger rising – along with your hunger level.  "Why didn't he ask if I needed any help?  Doesn't he know how much needs to be done around here?  How dare he just sit there and relax while I'm so busy"?  Then you remember that he can't read your mind. You pause from your cooking for a moment, and go into the living room.  You think about yelling, "Get of your lazy a** and help me!"  Instead, you say in an caring tone, "There's a lot that I need help with while I'm cooking dinner, that you may not be aware of.  Can you please help me with X, Y or Z?"  Assertively ask for what you need, and you won't need to stuff your feelings with food.

©2010 by "Dr. Dorie" McCubbrey, M.S.Ed., Ph.D. – Eating Disorder & Obesity Treatment Specialist – Denver, Colorado